Rik Reviews- The Expendables

Reviewed by Guest Critic, Rik Beans.

The last time Stallone was in a movie… it was a familiar franchise. Rambo didn’t do too badly

in the cinemas, grossing over $150 million. I honestly can’t say whether I liked it or not, because I never watched it.

But it was a series I never got into, except First Blood, because it had an interesting premise.

I first heard about The Expendables over a year ago, thinking, ‘Wow, this guy never ever quits does he?!’. Then I looked at some production stills and was impressed with his physique, seeing as he is 64.

Then I dug more into the movie’s production… and discovered that the cast was a lineup of action stars, past and present. That just freaking blew me away. And THEN… I saw the trailer with Ahnold. I then made a vow to myself to watch this, no matter what.

And I have no regrets.

The action in this movie is relentless. In short, this movie is every other action movie that was made in the late 80′s and early 90′s. Reminiscent of such campy action hits like Commando, Last Action Hero, Universal Soldier (the original) and the likes.

Now some of you may cringe at the thought of having to sit through about a hundred minutes of rubbish. Well, I actually like 90′s action movies. They never ever take themselves seriously and they shouldn’t, because realistically, most of the things done in action movies cannot be emulated in real life.

And you can’t say that’s not true, not with Mythbusters backing me up.

The story is a typical action movie, a bunch of mercenaries being brought into a mission under really secretive pretenses, and then they get sucked into it because of some noble reason. There were some side stories that was really interesting and funny.

But I didn’t go into the movie hoping for an Oscar worthy plotline. I wanted to see a shitload of guns, explosions and hand to hand combat. And I got all 3.

There is nothing more I can say about this movie other than it’s really fun to watch. And just look at the cast, seriously.

There is one thing that bugged me, though. They didn’t use Dolph Lundgren to his full potential. He’s more than just a raging psychopath. Sure, most of his roles were as bad guys because he looks the part, but I enjoy his presence on the screen. Not to mention he hasn’t been in anything since FOREVER. I don’t even think the younger generation know who the hell he is. They should have really added Jean Claude Van Damme though… it would have completed the entire lineup.

Well, maybe there’ll be Expendables 2… who knows. And maybe then, the lineup would be more kickass.

A definite F**KING WATCH IT NOW!!

For other reviews and various opinions on life visit Riks Blog

ttp://rikbeans.wordpress.com/

The Hurt Locker

I sat through this film after hearing all the hype, rave reviews and of course noticing the success it had with academy awards....and I can safely say it was all very much deserved.

We haven't been without our fair share of war films depicting current events of the dangers and controversy of western soldiers occupying middle eastern territories. But this film plays it so close, to an almost claustrophobic level focusing on the men and women that are putting their lives on the line to bring (arguably) peace to these nations. The films plot centres around an elite Army bomb squad unit forced to play a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse in the chaos of war, where everyone is a potential enemy and every object could be a deadly bomb and I can assure you it is painfully tense stuff.

Throughout the film we are brought to count down the days left until the members of the bomb squad can go back home and we are pushed into their world with such visceral realism that its hard to forget that this is REAL. Its not some imagined reality in which events like this take place, its actually happening right now on our planet. Our noses are pressed quite literally up into the face of the bombs, and simply not knowing if they will explode almost feels like a real danger, to me, sat on a comfy sofa, in a flat in Singapore, totally safe. This is filmaking at its very best.

You will find no disconnected performances here, the whole cast were completely believable and lived and breathed their characters. It was almost beautiful to see. Acting is not about pretending, it is about becoming and I really felt every emotion hit me from the screen. Bomb disposal expert William James (Jeremy Renner) is unconventional to say the least, with a wonderfully wreckless (or so it seems) attitude to his job. Renner is simply perfect, he brings so much to the film, with the actor and the character making some bold choices which really come up trumps. The later scenes in the film with his family back home in the USA are so touchingly performed. Most notably the sad sight of him in a supermarket choosing the correct breakfast cereal bringing to mind the poignant comparison of him picking the correct wire to sever on an IED . The mundane following the extreme.

I am not sure whether it could be described as an ensemble piece, because for me the character of William James stood out so much, but the rest of the cast really do compliment each-other, once again with unparalleled realism.

Kathryn Bigelow the director (every time I hear her name I have flashbacks of those terrible Rob Schneider films) has directed some really interesting movies in the past and yet I never really noticed her. After "The Hurt Locker" however I will now follow her career with great anticipation as well as cinematographer Barry Ackroyd (United 93) who lent his talent and by doing so was responsible for some of the most involving moments of film I have seen in a very long time.

I implore you to go out and buy the DVD immediately. You will not be disappointed.

9.5/10 Involving, beautifully acted, claustrophobic and Explosive.

Review by Joseph Carter

Hot Tub Time Machine

This movie is unashamed of itself and that, my friends, is what makes it so much fun.

The set up for this hilarious comedy is fairly simple...a group of forty somethings who have grown apart from the close friendship they had in high school are brought back together when one of the old gang is involved in a near fatal "ACCIDENT"...So to cheer up their buddy they go and spend a weekend in the very same ski resort in which was spent many happy days in their youth. However it just so happens that the hot tub in the resort is ...... a time machine.

So the friends John Cusack, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry and the newbie Clark Duke are sent back to their youth in the 80's but have to (Ala back to the future) avoid changing history in order to avoid changing the world...sounds like fun huh?

Just simple crazy fun.

Its not going to win awards and to my knowledge, hasn't. The characters are really well judged and involving...even Rob Corddry's unyielding alcoholic asshole is lovable in his own way. Craig Robinson is on form with his underplayed style fitting perfectly into the chaos. John Cusack shows us once again what a great actor he is and Clark Duke is..........fine. The stand out performance for me came from the enjoyable oddball Crispin Glover, as the adorably innocent Bell Hop and steals every scene he appears in. Crispin Glover deserves a freaking award for just being Crispin Glover...a Hollywood legend I tell ya.

I dare you not to laugh in this movie......go on just try...and fail. The schoolboy humor with poop gags, vomit, slapstick violence and the questionable goo on the face of Mr. Corddry are refreshing. I cant remember seeing this kind of gross out silliness on screen since the Jackass movie.

So often middle class geeky snobbery prevails and ultimately ruins comedies nowadays. Dragging pure comedy down into the realms of family drama...and sure this can be great sometimes, but these "Dramedies" are becoming tiresome (to me at least) and this is what makes H.T.T.M so fresh, fun and fancy free. Stop taking comedy so seriously...and you end up with something spectacular.

4.5/5 Unashamedly gross and silly...but still manages to have alot of heart with well rounded and lovable characters!

As Lilly Caplan says to John Cusack......embrace the chaos and life may just astonish you.

Review by Joseph Carter aka Joe on Film

New Poster For Shyamalan's Devil.

Lifts* are pretty bad - slow, unreliable, sometimes a bit overcrowded and smelly. Lifts that are stuck are even worse - slower, smellier and more overcrowded by the minute as the walls close in. But at least you don't usually have Satan in there with you, putting you ahead of the cast of upcoming horror Devil - for which we have an exclusive new poster below.

Rather stylish, eh? The film comes from the twisted mind of M. Night Shyamalan, who wrote the story on which Brian Nelson's screenplay is based. It's directed by Quarantine director John Erick Dowdle, and stars a cast comprised mostly of people you've never heard of and those you recognise from that thing on TV, whadyacallit, on the top of my tongue. Which, in horror movies, can be an advantage because it's harder to figure out who to trust.

Harry Potter Exclusive Offer For Joe On Film.

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Now this is what trailers should be like..

I was browsing Itunes Movie Trailers as I do nearly every day and I came across a film trailer that really got me.

It is for an upcoming film named "Catfish" which from what I can tell is about an internet romance. Having been in an internet romance...which is a now REAL life relationship I was already very interested in it, but aside from that it succeeds wonderfully as a trailer because it gets you involved, it makes you want to discover what happens next and most importantly of all it doesnt tell you what is going to happen...not even a hint! Why can't all movie trailers be this exciting? HEY HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS take a look at this piece of movie magic.....

The Sorcerer's Apprentice.

In a way it's such a quintessential summer flick....loud, funny, fast and instantly forgettable.

Nicholas Cage puts in a decent performance as "Balthazar", a Sorcerer living in modern day new york. He manages to keep interest with his unhinged manner while sporting an indie/Rock-star look. "Balthazar" is in search of the PRIME-Merlinian or somesuch... the one who can defeat the evil "Morgana", a witch who was imprisoned by "Balthazar" thousands of years ago within a Russian Doll. "Balthazar" is against some stiff competition though as darstardly sorcerer "Horvarth" (Alfred Molina doing his best pantomime bad guy) tries to stop his plans and destroy the Prime Merlinain...in the form of a geeky wizard-in-training named "Dave".

Now onto Dave played by the irritatingly nasal and fidgity Jay Baruchel or as I like to call him "Michael Cera Lite". He really struggles and fumbles his way through scene after scene. The scriptwriting really doesn't help with its pedestrian and sometimes laughable dialogue that you really only hear in Spoofs (or Summer Blockbusters of this caliber), however the film is very fast paced...so it succeeds in keeping your attention (mainly to wonder what the hell is going on!).

The action certainly was really enjoyable with a wonderful scene set in Chinatown involving a transforming paper dragon during a street festival. Certainly one of the more colourful scenes. Overall though the cinematography is uninspiring and leaves alot to be desired with a sniff of Disney Channel TV Movie floating in the air at points.

Compared to the latest Disney release "Toy Story 3" it fails miserably but if woody and the gang are no longer playing at your local picture house I would recommend The Sorcerers Apprentice to a family on a rainy summers day..grab the popcorn, switch your brains off and let it wash over you.

3/5 not terrible but not magical either.

Review By Joseph Carter