Unstoppable - Review

Unstoppable is an action drama inspired by true events. A runaway train carrying a cargo of toxic chemicals (sounds like a 60's Batman episode) tests experienced engineer "Frank" (Denzel Washington) and his rookie conductor "Will" (Chris Pine) in a race against time. In their own separate train they risk their lives to slow down and control the runaway train before it derails and destroys a large American town. 


Unstoppable is a shameless action movie, laughable at times but still good old fashioned fun. The acting generally is of poor quality, even the fairly decent "Denzel" is never convincing and you can see behind his eyes that he is just reading the words, waiting for the paycheck. He knows what kind of movie he is in. The plot is of course inspired by true events, but still very far fetched with accidents that are so hilariously coincidental that you would imagine a 7 year old cooked it all up. Not that its a negative. Don't get me wrong, its a hugely enjoyable movie, but just don't expect anything grounded in reality. 


Technical goofs are a plenty with many scenes badly edited, for example: a quarter way through the movie the runaway train is heading straight for a horse transport, as the horse's owners fight to get them to safety we cut to a scene with the train in a COMPLETELY different place. The Train also seems to have a life of its own and develops a (Jurassic Park sound effect style) Dinosaur scream that is repeated nearly every time the train comes into shot. The sound guy for this movie must have been in a rush (or on drugs) as this repeated Jurassic scream is pure hilarity and had me curling up in laughter at least 8 times. 

The writing is of a very poor standard, with wisecracks that would could only be found in an action movie. Every character is a stereotype from the Yelling Boss, plucky new recruit to the (unintentionally) comedic Ex Afghanistan U.S Marine who tries to save the day half way through the movie.


I was genuinely impressed with ALL of the action scenes, the film excels itself with the pure theatrical grace and excitement that is found in every second of action. Totally non reliant on CGI (something very rare in this CGI saturated genre) the action is fresh and induces a sense of actual danger. CGI is simply too perfect, when a car crashes in CGI every millimeter of that shot is sculpted and leaves the ensuing catastrophe feeling empty. With real stunt work, there is real consequence and that is where Unstoppable earns big points.


Overall its dumb, badly acted, naively written but the action and pure shamelessness of its plot makes it one of the most enjoyable movies of the year. 3.5/5


Review by Joseph Carter

The Town - Review

"Ben Affleck" surprised many people with his directorial debut "Gone Baby Gone" which was a runaway success. "The Town" is his second feature length film and I think it is safe to say he is doing something very right. It takes place in Charlestown, Boston USA, a place well known for its high number of armed robbers and thriving underworld. Doug MacRay (Ben Affleck), James Coughlin (Jeremy Renner), Albert 'Gloansy' Magloan (Slaine) and Desmond Elden (Owen Burke) are all friends, who make a "living" out of Bank Jobs. The film begins as they carry out a near successful bank robbery, but due to a few hitches take the bank manager, Claire Keesey (Rebecca Hall), hostage for a short period before releasing her unharmed. However after all is done, Doug falls for Claire leading to some tragic complications. 


Its hard not to become involved in the Town. The writing is very mature and does a superb job of garnering the audiences interest from the very beginning. I admit that leading up to the final act of the film there was a quite noticeable drop in momentum but I didn't lose interest in it for one second. The Cinematography is pedestrian but completely acceptable for this type of movie, as it puts substance before style (something lacking in many Hollywood offerings). 


The cast excel and are truly compelling, "Jeremy Renner" of the fabulous "The Hurt Locker" is entirely convincing and strangely likable which is some feat as his character exudes arrogance and uncontrollable aggression. "Ben Affleck" gives one of best performances yet and demonstrates he is so much more than the cheesy romcom/action movie star that many think of him. 


The action scenes of the movie are orchestrated with gusto, from the opening heist to the most thrilling and haunting car chase I have seen in quite some time (machine gun yielding nuns anyone?). Affleck's talent as a director is quite obvious, for "The Town" moves from action thriller to emotional family drama with such ease.


Overall I would rate this move 4/5. Its "The Dark Knight" of Heist movies, deep, emotional, thrilling, horrific. Gets a little slow before the final act but its completely forgivable.


Review by Joseph Carter

The Last Exorcism - Review

The Last Exorcism is a fictional documentary about a troubled preacher, a once true believer, he now questions the validity of god and is set to expose the truth behind his successful career as a Preacher/Exorcist. When we first meet him, Rev Cotton Marcus enlightens us by explaining that he is simply a well learned showman, that exorcisms are pure theatre, performing trickery to relieve the confused of their own misguided psychological burdens. Demonstrating a placebo effect, if you will. A camera crew accompanies Marcus to what a appears to be just another exorcism....but appearances prove to be deceptive as things take a very unusual turn for the worse. 

The Last Exorcism is superbly acted, edited and filmed. The events that take place on screen are often  believable with an engaging and charismatic central performance by "Patrick Fabian" as Rev Cotton Marcus, who from just after a few minutes into the movie had me genuinely excited about his plight to uncover the fraudulent nature of preachers. Maybe it is just the atheist in me, but I was involved from the word go. Equally as convincing is the "Linda Blair" of the film, Nell Sweetzer played by "Ashley Bell", a simple, god fearing country gal who's overbearing fundamentalist widowed father "Louis Herthum" home schools Nell with bible teachings. The fresh take on this overdone subject is that the initial exorcism is performed by Marcus, with ease and its obvious to the audience that it was (as he described) all in the mind. Without spoiling the entire movie, the "demons" (real/imagined) that were troubling Nell return very soon.

The movie succeeds in the first 80 mins due to the control and the surprising lack of any unexplainable "supernatural" behavior, however unusual and frightening the manner of "possessed" Nell, it all could possibly be identified and explained with fact. No head twisting, no projectile vomiting, no floating beds. All odd but conceivable. I genuinely was excited by this, thrilled at how daring and unexpected the choice the filmmakers had made (or at least I thought they made).This (near) genre changing movie fell flat upon the proverbial posterior, with the last 4 mins ripping every shred of originality out of the celluloid and displaying a tired and putrid conclusion (which I won't ruin for you). The finale wasn't shocking in the intended way, it was simply lazy and rather cowardly. A bolder move could have produced a bolder movie.

Fresh, engaging and brave....until the last 5 mins ruined it. RATING 2/5

Review by Joseph Carter

joethecornishgeek@hotmail.com

The Other Guys - Review

The Other Guys....a Comedy? a Thriller? an Action Movie?? Who knows. I certainly couldn't tell you, what I can tell you however is that its one HILARIOUS ride.

The film begins with a really enjoyable action scene staring New York's star cops ("Samuel L Jackson" and "Dwayne Johnson") extravagantly pursuing a group of criminals. They are the "SUPERCOPS" and return to the Police station adorned with medals and gratuitous amounts of respect from their fellow officers. "Will Ferrell" and "Mark Wahlberg" are the office losers, the "Other Guys". After the rather unusual (and superfunny) demise of the supercops, "Ferrell" and "Wahlberg" seize an opportunity to step up like their idols -- only things don't quite go as planned.

Now after some terribly unfunny summer comedies, "The Other Guys" is very refreshing. It is incredibly funny, sharp and surreal. "Mark Wahlberg" is also real surprise as he often surpasses the seasoned "Ferrell" with his comedic skill. Especially in the scenes involving nerdy Will Ferrell's obviously gorgeous wife played by "Eva Mendes". Literally every few minutes there is something to cause belly laughs and infectious giggling. I was sat next to my Fiancé and he was literally screaming down the theater with his laughter. This being said...the style of comedy in "The Other Guys" is so varying that it really can leave you confused. There are relentlessly surreal scenes and characters most notably the painfully funny "Brett Gelman" as Hal...the new husband of "Ferrell's" Ex Wife in a scene in which he runs 20 miles non stop in pursuit of a car. But the film also has some fairly conventional chuckle comedy, slap stick and subtle character based jokes brilliantly executed by "Micheal Keaton".

Confusion is really the downfall of the film....don't get me wrong the film is a laugh a minute, but it becomes very muddled and hard to follow. It simply doesn't know what kind of film it wants to be. It tries to hold down a rather serious storyline of their high-profile investigation of shady capitalist David Ershon ("Steve Coogan"), instead the spikey comedy and the fairly complex storyline end up distracting each other..which results in distracting you (the audience member). The films closing credits even include an animated lesson about Corruption and Capitalism, its almost as if the writer was worried that people wouldn't just enjoy it as a out and out comedy....as though we "NEEDED" something more substantial to accompany the copious amounts of hilarity.

So overall "The Other Guys" is without a doubt an intensely amusing film...it just gets distracted by its rather sober storyline.

JOE ON FILM RATING - 8/10

By Joseph Samuel Carter

Grown Ups - Reviewed

How can such talented and genuinely funny comedians produce such a stale, unfunny movie as this?

"Grown Ups" was billed as being the funniest movie of the summer, boasting a cast PACKED to the brim with comedic greatness. The plot (and I use that term in the loosest way possible) goes as follows...After their high school basketball coach passes away, five good friends and former teammates reunite for a Fourth of July holiday weekend. The five friends are played by Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade and Rob Schneider. 5 comedian buddies hanging out with each other...not being funny. Seriously thats about it. It's 102 mins of the most embarassing excuse for comedy, plus a few schmaltzy American pre-packaged morals thrown in about how important family is yadayadayada.

What happened? It seems like Adam phoned up some of his comedian pals and said "hey you wanna make a movie? We can hang out by a lake for a few weeks, have some fun and make some money? You know people will buy into this right?". Its pure mediocrity, every scene in this movie is a 3 minute set up for one unfunny gag after another. Whole elaborate scenes set up for what culminates in a nancy bitchslap of a PUNCH line. Not only that, its infuriating that the 5 "Comedians" ARE genuinley funny guys, they have been in some great films and shows that I care about...such as the wonderful "King of Queens", but the star of that show "Kevin James" doesnt so much as cause a titter during the runtime of "Grown Ups".

I feel the blame has to lie with someone and that someone has to be "Adam Sandler", he seems to be almost afraid of the camera throughout the movie, and possibly is on the same tranquilizer as "Chris Rock", who literally sounds like he just woke up as he delivers each of his lines, then retires back into his coma. "Adam Sandler" also co wrote this piece of infantile garbage.....although when you see that his co writer was involved with "Without a Paddle" the lack of laughs kinda makes sense.

Rob Schneider once again tried his hardest at acting, David Spade however actually was kinda funny, out of everyone...he actually caused a laugh or two.

Anyway this is a warning to all JOE ON FILM readers....please, please, PLEASE don't watch this movie, save your money, don't give it to Adam. We need a PSA for this movie....seriously.

2/10- I have never felt so deeply saddened that I have the ability to see and hear.

Rik Reviews- The Expendables

Reviewed by Guest Critic, Rik Beans.

The last time Stallone was in a movie… it was a familiar franchise. Rambo didn’t do too badly

in the cinemas, grossing over $150 million. I honestly can’t say whether I liked it or not, because I never watched it.

But it was a series I never got into, except First Blood, because it had an interesting premise.

I first heard about The Expendables over a year ago, thinking, ‘Wow, this guy never ever quits does he?!’. Then I looked at some production stills and was impressed with his physique, seeing as he is 64.

Then I dug more into the movie’s production… and discovered that the cast was a lineup of action stars, past and present. That just freaking blew me away. And THEN… I saw the trailer with Ahnold. I then made a vow to myself to watch this, no matter what.

And I have no regrets.

The action in this movie is relentless. In short, this movie is every other action movie that was made in the late 80′s and early 90′s. Reminiscent of such campy action hits like Commando, Last Action Hero, Universal Soldier (the original) and the likes.

Now some of you may cringe at the thought of having to sit through about a hundred minutes of rubbish. Well, I actually like 90′s action movies. They never ever take themselves seriously and they shouldn’t, because realistically, most of the things done in action movies cannot be emulated in real life.

And you can’t say that’s not true, not with Mythbusters backing me up.

The story is a typical action movie, a bunch of mercenaries being brought into a mission under really secretive pretenses, and then they get sucked into it because of some noble reason. There were some side stories that was really interesting and funny.

But I didn’t go into the movie hoping for an Oscar worthy plotline. I wanted to see a shitload of guns, explosions and hand to hand combat. And I got all 3.

There is nothing more I can say about this movie other than it’s really fun to watch. And just look at the cast, seriously.

There is one thing that bugged me, though. They didn’t use Dolph Lundgren to his full potential. He’s more than just a raging psychopath. Sure, most of his roles were as bad guys because he looks the part, but I enjoy his presence on the screen. Not to mention he hasn’t been in anything since FOREVER. I don’t even think the younger generation know who the hell he is. They should have really added Jean Claude Van Damme though… it would have completed the entire lineup.

Well, maybe there’ll be Expendables 2… who knows. And maybe then, the lineup would be more kickass.

A definite F**KING WATCH IT NOW!!

For other reviews and various opinions on life visit Riks Blog

ttp://rikbeans.wordpress.com/

The Hurt Locker

I sat through this film after hearing all the hype, rave reviews and of course noticing the success it had with academy awards....and I can safely say it was all very much deserved.

We haven't been without our fair share of war films depicting current events of the dangers and controversy of western soldiers occupying middle eastern territories. But this film plays it so close, to an almost claustrophobic level focusing on the men and women that are putting their lives on the line to bring (arguably) peace to these nations. The films plot centres around an elite Army bomb squad unit forced to play a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse in the chaos of war, where everyone is a potential enemy and every object could be a deadly bomb and I can assure you it is painfully tense stuff.

Throughout the film we are brought to count down the days left until the members of the bomb squad can go back home and we are pushed into their world with such visceral realism that its hard to forget that this is REAL. Its not some imagined reality in which events like this take place, its actually happening right now on our planet. Our noses are pressed quite literally up into the face of the bombs, and simply not knowing if they will explode almost feels like a real danger, to me, sat on a comfy sofa, in a flat in Singapore, totally safe. This is filmaking at its very best.

You will find no disconnected performances here, the whole cast were completely believable and lived and breathed their characters. It was almost beautiful to see. Acting is not about pretending, it is about becoming and I really felt every emotion hit me from the screen. Bomb disposal expert William James (Jeremy Renner) is unconventional to say the least, with a wonderfully wreckless (or so it seems) attitude to his job. Renner is simply perfect, he brings so much to the film, with the actor and the character making some bold choices which really come up trumps. The later scenes in the film with his family back home in the USA are so touchingly performed. Most notably the sad sight of him in a supermarket choosing the correct breakfast cereal bringing to mind the poignant comparison of him picking the correct wire to sever on an IED . The mundane following the extreme.

I am not sure whether it could be described as an ensemble piece, because for me the character of William James stood out so much, but the rest of the cast really do compliment each-other, once again with unparalleled realism.

Kathryn Bigelow the director (every time I hear her name I have flashbacks of those terrible Rob Schneider films) has directed some really interesting movies in the past and yet I never really noticed her. After "The Hurt Locker" however I will now follow her career with great anticipation as well as cinematographer Barry Ackroyd (United 93) who lent his talent and by doing so was responsible for some of the most involving moments of film I have seen in a very long time.

I implore you to go out and buy the DVD immediately. You will not be disappointed.

9.5/10 Involving, beautifully acted, claustrophobic and Explosive.

Review by Joseph Carter